Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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