I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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