I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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