you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
