Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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