my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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