Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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