dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i was born a porn star she said
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize