Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
