I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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