It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize