im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I smell stomach acid.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
