Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
did i walk over a car last night?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
