I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
