Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
