i barfeds in our rink
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
