You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's never too late to be topless.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
