Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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