I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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