I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
God I need to hump something, right now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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