yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
