i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
