So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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