PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
