Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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