That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My balls are so social today.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
