so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
