I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
