but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
