i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
