i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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