no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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