Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's always time for handjobs
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How does one acquire holy water?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
