How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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