i love accidental penises.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
