my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
