i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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