So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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