So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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