Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize