Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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