I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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