I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
