i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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