meet me or not, i'm out of control
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
