Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
