Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize