i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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