I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
