I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
