shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
