you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
