How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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