her vagine was all disorganized.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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