you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
