he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
