On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize