I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
