and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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