you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
