This girl is more easily done than said...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
