When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
honey bunches of taint.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
