Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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