More tranny stories later!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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