let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
