You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
