rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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