I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Please don't give away my fajitas
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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