Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Randomize
