do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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