No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Randomize
