when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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